How I Struggle to Get Myself Out of Bad Thoughts About My Work
There’s this project I shot with these two incredible women, Megan and Zara. A project that should have been exciting, fulfilling - something to push my creative boundaries. Instead, it became a mental battleground, a spiral of doubt so overwhelming that I convinced myself I had failed before even looking at the images.
For two months, I refused to check the files. I told myself I had wasted everyone’s time. That I wasn’t a real photographer. That I was a hypocrite for even calling myself one.
This wasn’t the first time I had struggled with thoughts like these, but this was the worst it had ever been. The pressure I put on myself to be "good enough" overshadowed everything else. I let those thoughts dictate my confidence, my ability to move forward, and my willingness to even acknowledge my own work.
And then, after weeks of avoiding it, I finally opened the files.
To my surprise, I didn’t see failure. I saw something beautiful. I saw the effort, the connection, the story I had captured. And now, looking back, I love what we created.
I’m not writing this for sympathy. I’m writing this because I know I’m not the only one who goes through this. When you’re trying to build something for yourself—especially in a creative industry - your biggest enemy is often your own mind. The weight of comparison, self-doubt, and unrealistic expectations can suffocate the joy that made you start in the first place.
Bad thoughts lie
I’m still at the beginning of my journey, still figuring things out, still learning how to trust myself. But this experience taught me something important: bad thoughts lie. And if I had let them win, I would have missed out on work that I now value deeply.
So, to anyone who’s struggling with their own self-doubt - don’t let it stop you from seeing what you’re actually capable of. You might be creating something incredible without even realizing it.
But here’s what I learned: You can’t let doubt dictate your decisions. You can’t let someone else’s overpowering energy mute your own. Trusting yourself, even in the face of resistance, is a muscle you have to build. And sometimes, the hardest part of creating isn’t the work itself - it’s holding onto your vision when someone tries to take it away from you.
I first met Megan and Zara at my very first Go-See—a day where models come by their agency, and photographers like me get to meet them, see their look, and connect. Dominik Berberich and I were there, navigating this new experience, when the twins walked in. Beyond being sisters and models, they told us about something that instantly sparked our interest—they had their own brand. Lulu Swim, a local swimwear brand they had built themselves. Seeing women not only succeed but create something of their own is always inspiring, and in that moment, the idea of working together was born. Just a few days later, we found ourselves shooting, bringing our shared creativity to life.
Models: Megan Goslett, Zara Goslett
Agency: Twenty Model Management South Africa
Videographer: Dominik Berberich
Photographer: Nora Maafa
Clothing: @LuluSwim, @Lapis.andtheredthread
